Goodbyes are so hard....

Thing have been so crazy here. Summer was great, did a lot of camping. Fed the deer up north at a refuge, my daughter was in baseball (her team took 3rd place!), my husband's family had family reunions, my great neice & nephew came up from Virginia for a visit, went swimming A LOT, and our foster baby J, (we got him at 5 days old) went to live with his birth father. (J was 17 months old when he left us on Friday, August 27th)!

There are so many emotions going through our minds & hearts right now.... I walked into church & a flood of emotions went over me & I had a hard time controling my tears. Baby J LOVED church, especially the music, & it was hard.... but a lot of hugs from my church family & we got through it.

I think what I hate the most, is that everywhere I go there is something that reminds of Baby J, A pack of water bottles makes cry because he loved to play with water bottles. A big ICE freezer where the store holds the bags of ice made me weepy, because he would open our cooler and get a piece of ice & eat it. I know I should be thankful that we have so many memories of him, but they feel like knives stabbing me over & over. Our house is the worst right now, because everything looks the same, just wholes where his stuff was. I miss him so so so much.

J's birthdad said he would keep in contact with us, and he did send us text messages Sunday with some photos attached.... but I want to hold him, I want to watch him place, I want to get his sloppy kisses!

Ch-ch--ch- changes

Hey guys. :) Looks like another 6 weeks and we will have a court date for adopting my two oldest foster kids, and we might be able to our little baby boy, they didn't send him to Alabama.

God is so good!!! :)

Freebie!

My friend Tara is doing a give-a-way. Check her out!

http://goobiesplace.blogspot.com/2010/02/time-for-my-first-give-away-zebrapolka.html?spref=tw

Changes...

"Life's about changes... nothin ever stays the same." I heard that song the other day, it's by Patty Loveless it's called "How can I help you say goodbye" It's so true.

We had court for baby "Matthew," looks like they want to send him to Alabama with his grandpa. I am heart broken, yet happy...it's so confusing to me. I'm glad that he doesn't have the confusion that my other foster kids had when they were visiting their parents. I was certian that Matthew was going to be our forever child, I am really starting to doubt that I'm saspose to be a mom at all. With "Vincent" and "Gracie's" case being up in the air, and now "Matthew" leaving - I don't know what God is thinking....I don't know if we are going to continue with Foster Care... it's very hard on my heart and I seem to cry a lot. Maybe I'm just burnt out or whatever but, I think we can't seem to go on. I just have to enjoy the kids while they are here, they aren't ours anyways - even when we give birth to them right? Where does it say that in the bible? That our children belong to God or something.... I don't know. Anyways please keep our family in your prayers...and hopefully I will be able to do some scrapbooking soon!!

legacy all starts with you!

I was at Divine Digital and saw this on their main page, and yep that is my new "motto" for inspiration to get motivated to start scrapping again. Since my father died a year ago in February, I have only did maybe 10 pages....so not me!!! I am off I guess, so inspire me.... I'm looking for inspiration...

Update on our Family

We made up nicknames for the kids since I can't share their real names. The two older ones thought it was to come up with "code names" for themselves.

"Matthew" (Baby J) has a whole repertoire of cries that mean a variety of things from "feed me" to "hold me" to "get this big poop out of my diaper!" (which means get it out without taking this diaper off me!) that we are all struggling to get to know. We laugh at the pretty explosive sounds coming from his tush region...fits right in with my dh Marty, "Vincent" (Z) & "Gracie" (S). He doesn't really like the pacifier, which I'm told is a good thing. Can't wait until it gets warmer to take him out for walks, don't know when that will be. He is starting to focus in on our faces...which is great! Marty got him a Tigers sleeper and they watched the Tiger's game together it was so cute!! Other than not getting enough sleep because he still has his nights and days mixed up, we are having a great time having an infant in the house.

Clipping Matthew's nails...I've filed but too scared to do anything else. I'm scared to death to hurt him. I've had many people tell me to bit them off...but to tell you the truth, that scares me too! He hates to be swaddled now, he liked it at first, but now it just seems to make him angry! So I don't push it. I was giving him a bath almost every night, or every other, trying to help him sleep. What do you think about crying... does it spoil him if I pick him up everytime he crys...do I let him cry it out?

J slept 8 1/2 hours last night!!! Went to bed at 11:30 pm and just woke up at 8 am! Now if we can only get that more... ha ha!

Sleep...Huh, what is sleep...

Yeah, well Baby J has his days and nights mixed up. Sleeping all day and staying up all night. Friends and Relatives have helped us out majorly. J is now 16 days old, and we've had him for almost 2 weeks. We now have almost everything we need for an infant. Wednesday, (March 25th) when we got him we had absolutely NOTHING for an infant. We now have a bouncy seat, a swing, a play mat, a high chair, tons of bottles and clothing... we are still needing a crib, so we will be getting one of those in a couple weeks.

Marty has been really great with him, helping with feeding, holding him and yes changing diapers! Everyone is really shocked, because Marty doesn't hold babies... but he says it's just because "their not his to care for..."

My other two foster kids, Z (8 year old boy) and S (5 year old girl) are just in love with him! Z help's feed him and they both have held him. Being the big brother and sister is an awesome job!

A New Addition to our family

We have a new foster son, as of today he is 11 days old. We got him Wednesday at 5 days old.... we are all very tired here. LOL!!

Doodling can Help your memory!!!

Can you believe that? I read a blog on Yahoo (http://health.yahoo.com/news/healthday/takenotedoodlingcanhelpmemory.html)

The article says that, "...subjects who doodled while listening to a recorded message had a 29 percent better recall of the message's details than those who didn't doodle."

So go ahead doodle on those scrapbook pages!!!